Keep calm and carry on.

Sometimes when life's challenges are thrown at us all at once, we find ourselves preferring not to deal with them so we throw ourselves into the task of avoidance, finding any means possible to keep ourselves busy and try to move on without dealing with the problems. I discovered the hard way, that this is extremely unhealthy and does us more damage, than good.

How many of you are guilty of the above crime? Probably most of you to be honest, even if you haven't realised.

I've been in situations that are hard to deal with, and I've been in situations that come back to haunt you, and I can tell you now, the latter is most definitely the hardest.

Nothing in life is easy let alone the things that hurt us, but if it was all a piece of cake, it wouldn't be worth it. No matter what hits us, in time we learn how to move on from the bad. I may not always see it this way when I'm hurting, but I'm a strong believer that being hurt in life is good because if we were never shown how bad it's possible for us to feel, we'd never appreciate the things that make us smile, and how amazing they are.

If you're feeling hurt, or angry, or upset, or betrayed, or any negative feeling, have a think about your entire life so far. Have you been happy before? More often than not, the answer will be yes. Therefore, you know that it is possible for you to feel happiness. There's nothing wrong with you for feeling rubbish; you're not a freak, or messed up, or a robot, you're just bogged down with life, and all of the hurdles that you haven't learnt to jump over yet. Don't panic; take it step by step, and gradually you can teach yourself how to work through everything and smile again.

I did. Many times.

I've grown to be a strong believer in the phrase 'life is what you make it' because that's truly what it is. So much negativity can be brought into our lives so often that it's so easy to get bogged down and let it affect us. It's the natural option that our instincts choose because fighting it and believing that we can make the bad situations into something good seems so, SO much harder. At the end of the day though, if we just sit and let it all pile up on our shoulders, we will honestly never be happy. Also if we try to brush past the problems without working through our feelings towards them, I can promise you, they WILL come back to haunt you and then it's ten times harder.

We can't predict what life's gonna throw at us, nor can we prevent it, but we can learn how to challenge ourselves in the best possible ways, and we can learn how to smile in spite of our problems.

More often than not, people stare so long at the door that's closed behind them, at the thing they've lost, that they miss all the doors that are opening in front of them, because they're looking behind them.

Look forwards.

Jump forwards, walk forwards, dance forwards, climb forwards, crawl forwards, skip forwards, sprint forwards.
However you move, make it forwards, and only hold what's behind you as a memory.

Holding on to the past will never do you good.

Let yourself live, love, and laugh.
Courtney's Imagination★

Why am I terrified?

Over the past few days, I’ve found myself reflecting on some of my thoughts and actions from the past. I am by no means digging up the past, I just felt that there was a question I needed to answer for myself. So often, I have been the girl that gives in to her fear and it’s held me back from so many amazing things in my life, that I’m quite tired of it. Sometimes even when I just tell myself ‘go for it!’, or ask myself ‘what’s the worst that can happen?’, in the back of my mind I am still crippled with fear. I’ve been thinking about it and decided that I’d like to kind of conclude why I am so petrified, and why I let it hold me back and run away from things.

For as long as I can remember, I would live my life as my own person and not talk about it with people. I became such a private and enclosed person, and as I got older, it became more and more difficult to want to change that habit. I think I had the opinion that it would protect me from getting hurt in a way, and that if I didn’t share my life with people, it meant there’d be less people to judge me or hate me. As I was bullied, I was so naive and caught up in my own little world that I never saw it as being that ‘b’ word. For years and years, all I knew was that it hurt me so much, and I thought it would never stop. I was so young when it started that it was just my life, every day, and I didn’t know that it wasn’t normal for someone to make you hurt so much. Besides, what in this world would ever make me want to admit that I didn’t wanna live through it, when I thought their lives had been the same? 

I think that explains to me the reason I begun to not talk about the things happening in my life, but saying that it was hard to break the habit just doesn’t seem enough. It feels like nothing but an excuse. Or maybe that’s just me being hard on myself?

I’d say I was most scared of myself out of anything; what I said, what I did,  what I felt, etc. As different people came into my life and impacted it, each of them would give me a new attitude. Some would bring inspiration, some: motivation, and others would make me not care. That’s right, the girl who cared way too much about everything in her life, discovered it was possible to not give a damn about something. It was a different feeling which was freeing, but the feeling these people brought me was self destruction. When I got tired of being terrified, I would become extremely impulsive. I would know perfectly the things that were no good for me, but would embrace them to their full extent anyway and somehow, love it. I think it was the element of control that I loved, after feeling so out of control about the rest of my life. Anything I regretted I would block out, so that it didn’t take away that tiny piece of twisted happiness I’d have.

With so many people meaning such different things to me, I thought that maybe it was the people who scared me, rather than the situation. I’d grown a habit to never let anybody grow too close to me, so they couldn’t hurt me. I had such trouble trying to fit people into my life because I would never let them break down my guard. I was scared of being loved, and couldn’t embrace it so at the first sign of seeing the possibility of more pain, I would always run. For me, it seemed a pretty big thing that other people could love me, when I was far from loving myself. As I began to love myself more, it became a challenge I set myself, to not run away from someone trying to love me. So far I have only completed that challenge a few times.

Writing this has opened my own eyes to the reality of my life, but I’m glad I could realise so many things whilst I’m still so young and have my entire life to embrace the changes I can make. Fear doesn’t just disappear and I’ll probably be battling with it for a while, but I definitely need to think about things less.

Take that leap for yourself, and share it with everyone you love. Try not to think about the fear, and never let it swallow up your life.

‘Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.’ - A Cinderella Story.


“To me, “FEARLESS” is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, FEARLESS is having fears. FEARLESS is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. FEARLESS is falling madly in love again, even though you’ve been hurt before. FEARLESS is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. FEARLESS is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again… even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. It’s FEARLESS to have faith that someday things will change. FEARLESS is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. I think it’s FEARLESS to fall for your best friend, even though he’s in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, I think it’s FEARLESS to stop believing them. It’s FEARLESS to say “you’re NOT sorry”, and walk away. I think loving someone despite what people think is FEARLESS. I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is FEARLESS. Letting go is FEARLESS. Then, moving on and being alright…That’s FEARLESS too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after. That’s why I write these songs. Because I think love is FEARLESS.”
― Taylor Swift

Be fearless.

Next time I’ll be braver...

Courtney’s Imagination★

How many times will it take to get right?

We all make mistakes, every single one of us, even the best of us. We are only human, mistakes and regrets are inevitable. Sure, we all say that we should have no regrets, but then we just go and make more. Some people would call that stupidity, but I’d just call it living. I mean, how do we live without things to learn from? How do we fulfil our lives if they never change, and we never change?

Today, I made a mistake. I tried to involve somebody in a situation that I shouldn’t have. Nobody else can solve our problems and they can’t learn from our mistakes, all they can do is support us. We are the only ones who should control ourselves and our lives, so that we are true to ourselves. Often, we try to back out of something we have created, because we lose our courage. We may not be able to change our past or the reality surrounding us right now, but we all have the ability and strength inside to shape our future.

In life, all that people may ever ask of us is our best, and that is all that we will ever be able to give them. Even if we give more, all it means is that our best has improved and is better than what we thought. Do you give your best, in your life? How many regrets do you have, that you won’t let yourself move on from? I know it’s easier said than done, but giving up on something doesn’t mean that you’re too weak to hold on to it, it means you’re finally strong enough to let it go because you know it’s best for you. I don’t want you to hurt from your mistakes, I want you to be happy. Let go of your pain, free yourself, and smile.

Somebody once told me that I will only ever have one chance at this, and I’m not at a dress rehearsal like the shows I do. He was talking about life. I never really thought about comparing life to anything until that point, but his words could not have been truer. So I’m going to pass on his wisdom to you. I told a lot of people over the holiday period to make the most of every moment they are blessed with, but I’m gonna extend that now.

If you’re reading this, I want you smile from the bottom of your heart, and make the most of every moment that you are presented with for the rest of your life. It’s true that you never know what life may bring, but that stands for the positives, too. Nothing in life is ever just bad, if we open our eyes and let ourselves see the good, too.

You only get one chance, one life. This isn’t a dress rehearsal, or a first draft, or a warm up match. This is real. You’re alive. You have your life. Live it for noone but yourself, and love it, for noone but yourself.

Everything happens for a reason. We are all stronger than we will ever realise, and none of us can predict so much as the next 5 minutes, let alone the rest of our lives.

Whatever you do, smile, laugh, and dream.

Courtney’s Imagination★

Do you ever just wanna, dance?

How many times in your life have you ever just had a massive urge to burst out your worst dance moves in history when a catchy song is on? Lots? Cool.

So, how many times have you actually given in to that temptation? Not many? Well, neither have I. Today, I did.

I'd left my iTunes blasting out my latest ear addiction whilst helping to sort and clear belongings, and cooking lunch, and whilst walking down the stairs, there was a spring in my step. I had let myself be free. I had let my body, be free. Stepping down from the last stair, my body and mind sprung into total music mode, and before I knew it I was crazily dancing around the room. I'm not a dancer and it's not something I have done often before, but today, it felt good, really good. Not only did I love the freedom I had found and the energy in the room, but it was such a feel-good song playing, I would've classed myself as a robot if it hadn't had that effect! Whether you're a professional or an amateur, dancing can change you. It can make you happier. I recommend it.

Let yourselves live a little. Make the most of every moment. And MOVE TO THE BEATS!!

It looks like you're made of stars...

Nothing wrong with ear addictions. :)

Courtney's Imagination★