Don't tell me how I feel.

Okay so, I know I shouldn’t care about what others think, but let’s face it, we all do it subconsciously anyway! At the same time though, I think it’s good to care about some things so that we don’t lose ourselves in our own worlds all the time.

With that said, there’s a point I’d really like to make. As I mentioned before, an ex and I had a really messy break up, and I’m gonna tell you here, we worked together and both lived in the communal area we were provided with. Generally my emotions are always intense and they swing to and fro easily, but that was an extraordinary situation and I’m not gonna lie, I struggled. As time passed, I was seeing him every day, and felt that I needed to have a stable/civil relationship with him so that I could feel more comfortable and calm with my emotions.

A number of my friends and colleagues couldn’t understand my point, which makes sense because they didn’t feel the way I did. However, some of them were obsessed with telling me that I didn’t feel the way I claimed, and instead, I felt the way that they claimed. Boy do I hate people telling me how I feel!

Anyway. Every now and then memories pop up, and I’m the kind of person to hold things in my mind until I can find the words that I feel are perfect to describe the situation. I was watching something a few days ago and one of the girls said something about her ex which triggered this whole friend thing to come to the front of my mind...

‘It feels good that Joe and I were able to have a conversation without it ending in a big fight.’

After many arguments between her and her ex, she was merely describing the satisfaction that she felt, concluding that all the negative energy between them had been put in the past. This is something I just wanted to write out of my system, because hearing her say that, made me think of the perfect words I was searching for.

So, to everybody that tried to tell me how I was feeling, you are wrong. I simply wanted the knowledge and satisfaction that all of the negative energy was behind us.

Now that my mug is empty again, goodnight.

Courtney’s Imagination★