Are you in love?

I used to wonder why people would ever cheat on their other half, but sometimes the hypocrite in me understands it. Sometimes I do see why someone would want to be with someone other than their girlfriend or boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean they should do it. At the same time though I will always believe that if you have to be with more than one person at once then you shouldn’t be with either of them, because they clearly don’t give you everything you want. Nobody deserves that pain of finding out that the person they’re with wants to be with someone else, or the phases of blaming themselves, or the lack of trust they then have for everybody in their lives. I’ve been with guys who’ve cheated on me, and even though I can let myself see reasons for it, I am definitely 110% against it.

I think when somebody hurts you in a way you haven’t been hurt before, you don’t bounce back easily. You go through phases of emotion whilst trying to understand how somebody could possibly hurt you like that, because it just doesn’t sink in. You wonder how you can get over it and you wonder how you can stop loving them. A friend of mine has had some guy trouble lately and been wondering whether or not to give out a second chance or whether to wait for the guy she loves, and it got me thinking about love. I can honestly tell you now, I don’t think anybody ever falls totally out of love. I mean, when you make memories with someone, take photographs, give gifts, and share parts of your life with them, they’re things you’re never gonna forget. People say you can forgive but never forget, and I think that’s true. You can learn to forgive somebody and let go of the pain to move on with your life, but in reality, it will always be there in the back of your mind.

Out of all my previous relationships, there has only been one that felt perfect when it happened. We were totally smitten and he had more in common with me than any other guy, but it wasn’t plain sailing. There were definitely bumps and cracks along the pavement, and in the end it didn’t work out. I’m not gonna play the victim here because I gave as good as I got when it comes to hurting each other, but it doesn’t change the fact that I care about him. Somebody once told me that if you truly love somebody but break-up then a friendship between you will never work, but if you don’t truly love them, then you could have the best friendship after you split. We never worked as friends after we broke up, but I’ve learnt a lot about things I want in a guy, and things I don't want.

I know it’s often unrealistic to have an image in your head of what you want from a guy, but at the end of the day most of the characteristics are probably opposite traits to previous boyfriends, so it’s only natural. I do know the things I want from a guy, but I’m realistic too, and willing to compromise. A wise friend of mine once told me to think about the things I would compromise though, and the things that I feel are necessary. There are some traits in a guy that would just be a bonus, but having things in common to base a relationship around in the first place is a pretty big essential. She also told me to think about the things I may subconsciously settle for that would be compromising myself. Never settle for second best, guys and gals. That goes both ways. Never settle for being second best, and never settle for having second best. If you do, I can promise you now, you will forever be looking over your shoulder at what you’re missing.

I know I’m young but there are a few guys I’ve loved and I’ll admit there will always be a part of me that will always love parts of them, but I’m thankful to them for being in my life and for helping me learn about the things that matter to me. I’m thankful to them for helping me learn who I am, and believing in me.

Love is like a memory; it never totally fades away, even if you want it to.

You can never forget the things in your life, for they made you who you are today.

People enter your life for a reason.

Courtney’s Imagination★

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