Never regret anything, because at one time, it was exactly what you wanted.

The sun may have taken a break where I am today, but whilst it was shining bright yesterday, it got me thinking. I know I’ve mentioned before about the changes I’ve made, but it’s when you have deja-vu moment, that’s when it really hits you.

I was walking down the street yesterday with the sun beaming down onto my skin, and I had one of those moments. I was wearing a dress and sandals, that’s it. No tights or leggings, no cardigan or jumper, just skin. A couple of years ago, that story would’ve been the opposite.

I remember being nagged to take off my hoodie so I wouldn’t overheat, and asked how on earth I could wear jeans in that heat. Truth be told I have no idea how I didn’t pass out that summer, but I guess it just wasn’t my priority. I remember always wanting to wear long trousers just because I felt like an idiot by wearing long sleeves and showing my legs. I had to wear the long sleeves of course, because if I hadn’t, my secrets would’ve been on show for the world to see.

It must’ve been the summer of 2008 in particular. It was the longest summer of my life; almost 3 months long, because it was the year I left school. It was the year I had the most cuts and scars. It was the year I was most ashamed of myself. It was the year that I had the most to hide. I had to wear those long sleeves to cover those cuts and scars.

So looking down at my arms yesterday with the sun-rays glaring straight onto my skin, I was proud. I am proud. Proud of who I am, and who I’ve been, because the past has made me who I am today. Most of my scars are now invisible to other’s eyes, but I can make them out because I know where they were. They’re the scars that show me how much life can change, how much people can change, and how amazing life can be.

Harming myself used to be an addiction and it used to put me at ease, because I hated myself so much and felt that I deserved punishment.
Now I am glad I’ve made mistakes in my life, because I love myself and I believe those who feel the greatest lows, also feel the greatest highs.

I would not change a single thing that has happened in my life.

Would you?

Change is possible. I am living proof.

No regrets. Life your life, live your dreams. Never lose hope.

Courtney’s Imagination★

Are you beautiful?

In England the sun is shining bright and the forecast is set to be good for the rest of the week, so that is just something else to add to my good mood! This is the first post I'm writing to you whilst sitting in the sun, and it is awesome! The sun is bright, the tunes are blasting, and even the birds are singing along! I'm not just gonna drone on about summer though, don't worry.

The further forward I get in life, the further behind I am leaving my past. Obviously it’s stuff I will never forget because it’s all made such an impact on the girl I am today, but I know that my past doesn’t effect my present or my future anymore. The reason I say that it doesn’t effect it anymore, rather than just saying it doesn’t effect it, is because that’s a choice I made. I made that choice to not turn memories into regrets and let them hold me back from living my life and moving forwards.

I’ve probably spoken about this in a post before at some point and I know it is such a common cliché, but life really is what we make it. I used to think I would never succeed and I would never get anywhere in life, but now I am finding myself so much further above those expectations. Any expectations we set ourselves whilst in a bad state of mind, we are bound to excel past when that state of mind changes. I’ve been in a bad place so many different times in my life, that it always became my belief that I wasn’t good enough. When we start to believe negative things about ourselves, we start to ruin ourselves profoundly. The question ‘Am I good enough?’ is something that’s haunted me for a long time, in any and every situation, and it came from believing negative things about myself. All those negative beliefs, came from negative comments of others.

I don’t believe those things now, and I think the people who have said them are simply jealous and/or just trying to make their insecurities feel smaller, but it did take me a long time and a lot of mistakes to get to the point that I make my own opinions and beliefs about myself.

How many of you have ever called somebody, anybody, a name? Maybe a homeless person, or an elderly person?
How many of you have been called a name that you didn’t like?

Chances are, most of you would put your hands up to both of those questions. I’ll openly admit that I would, too. This is something I’ve seen too, I mean, I didn’t realise at the time because I was too young and hurting too much, but the person who used to bully me was being bullied herself. I believe that this is often the case. But if we gave a thought before we opened our mouths, we could more than likely prevent a lot of pain.

It may be a beautiful day, but there are a lot of people in this world that are not beautiful on the inside. Make sure you’re not one of them, and think before you speak.

Take a second to think about what you should say to somebody, before you say it. Words can speak louder than you may ever realise. Words can hurt somebody more than you may ever realise.

If you make fun of somebody, what do you gain?
If you compliment somebody, what do you lose?

The answer to both of those is nothing, but you can impact somebody’s life, by either. Impact a life in a positive way, and you won’t regret it.

Be beautiful.

Stay beautiful.

Courtney’s Imagination★

I'm veggie and proud.

This is a post I’ve been wanting to write for a long time because it’s a question people often ask me, but there’s always been something else on my mind that I want to write. With this week being National Vegetarian Week, it’s the perfect time for me to get around to writing this!

I’m not going to write about why you shouldn’t eat meat or try to make you become a vegetarian and I’m not going to turn to gory details, this is simply a chance for me to share my personal reasons and promote this week. I know that what we eat is our own choice and noone else’s, just like the things we say and do, and that’s why I don’t agree with the people who try to force their values and beliefs onto other people.

I’ve been a vegetarian for almost 5 years, and as I meet new people and they become aware of this, they question it. I don’t think anybody really questions vegetarianism out of nosiness, I think it just makes people curious. It was an easy transition for me to lose meat from my life because it was something I didn’t eat much of anyway, but lack of it was not the reason I chose to cut it out completely. I made the choice during a time of my life where I felt weighed down by life I guess you could say, and it was one of the first things that made me realise I was my own person and I had the right to have control and make decisions for myself. That teenage era is tricky because there’s such a fine line between being a kid and being an adult, but I gave myself responsibility by choosing not to eat meat because I gave myself the choice.

The control factor of the decision helped me out a great deal because it taught me some things about growing up, but I wouldn’t have made the choice if it wasn’t something I didn’t want. I’d gotten to the point that eating meat disgusted me, and it wasn’t ‘just food‘ anymore. As we grow up, we become more aware of not only our surroundings, but also everything in life, and I became so much more aware of what I was eating. I guess I always knew what it was, but I never really looked into where it came from.

It’s kinda like trusting our the people in our lives, as we trust where our food comes from, but we never really see what goes on behind closed doors. I know plants are living things too, but they’re not quite on the same level as animals and there’s no such thing as ‘plant cruelty’. So when I choose to trust where my vegetables come from, they could be full of chemicals for all I know but it’s only me that would suffer. When I used to trust where my meat came from, it was always another living creature that would suffer and I hate that. Animals don’t have the opportunity to make the choice of whether they’re eaten or not, so I took my opportunity and chose not to eat them.

When people learn that I’m a vegetarian, they ask if I eat fish, and it’s something that really bugs me. I know there are a number of vegetarian sub-categories and I know in some countries the ‘names’ vary, but I hate when people say they’re one thing, and they’re another. 

I am a vegetarian. I don’t eat pork, beef, chicken, lamb, venison, fish, or any other animal. I don’t eat geletine or any other form of animal guts. I am nothing other than what I claim to be. I am veggie and proud.

I know so many people that have had a phase and chosen not to eat meat for a while then gone back to it, but I can honestly never see myself switching back. Even the thought of eating meat again makes me wanna vom.

Happy National Vegetarian Week!!

Courtney’s Imagination★

Time flies, when you're having fun...

Today instead of apologising for the lack of posts this month, I’m going to tell you the reason for it.

A couple of years ago I started writing a book. I was doing well and was pleased with the progress, but then something happened and somewhere along the line it was like I’d lost my pen. I mean, I hadn’t literally lost a pen, but I’d lost whatever it was inside me that was enabling me or motivating me to keep writing that story with so much heart. Several times I tried to bring back the focus, but it never felt right. So lately during one of the busiest times of my life to date, it’s ironic that I have also picked up that pen again. It’s not easy, but hey, the best things in life never are.

So whilst my time has been taken writing something else, it’s been difficult to find time to blog. When I start a writing session, I hate to stop it because I hate to pause and distract the focus. Everything I write has to feel right to me or I won’t be happy with it, and that’s the reason I don’t write short, meaningless posts every day just so I upload something. I write from the heart and I’m not going to sacrifice that.

Maybe one day in the future you will have something a little greater of mine to read, but for today, I shall take some time aside later to do a proper blog post for you guys.

This could help you pass the time...

Courtney’s Imagination★

I temporarily forgot how much I love this man.

I’ve been so crazily busy lately that I seemed to have forgotten how much I love the wonderful Mr. Ben Howard, but not any longer!

After just witnessing his BBC Radio 1 Live Lounge session, I have totally been reminded of how perfect he is.

Darling you're with me forever and always.

Courtney’s Imagination★

Following your heart leads to success.

A couple of weeks ago I posted about an important day for me and now that day has passed, I can happily say that it went well and was successful.

Belief in myself is something I've been known to lack before, but it has done me no favours. That day, I gave everything I done my heart and soul and despite running on little energy, I had passion for what I was doing and I had that belief. I believed I could do it, and I done it.

On the day, I'd taken an extra reminder with me that I knew would make me wanna give it my all. I'd taken something that used to remind me what I meant to people, but now it reminds me that I am better than all of the people who have treated me like dirt. My hope and optimism paid off, because despite a 22 hour day and most of the day traveling and waiting around, I got what I wanted and am one step closer to that big goal in my head.

I'm proving many people wrong in my tracks, and making many people proud. Whichever side you are on there, I'd like to thank you. The haters make me stronger, and the supporters catch me when I trip. So thankyou, wonderful (or hateful) people.

Never let your doubts hold you back, and you will go far.

Follow your heart, hold your head up high.

Courtney's Imagination★